Incident of Epic Proportions: Where Did the High-Tech Warplane Go?

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Have you spotted this piece of missing US government property? The US Marine Corps has misplaced one brand-new F-35B Lightning fighter plane and is appealing to the public for assistance in locating it.

This is the same United States government that believes you should go through a rigorous background check, submit your fingerprints, pay a special tax, and wait indefinitely if the barrel on your rifle is less than 16 inches long.

If you want to lower the ear-splitting sound your legally owned firearm generates and shoot or hunt with a suppressor, you’ll have to go through the same steps and wait even longer.

And if you happen to be a gun merchant, please don’t make a typo, misspell a term, or put information in the wrong box on a 4473 form. If this occurs, you risk losing your license and, most likely, your business.

But, by all means, wrack your brain and reflect on the previous weekend. Have you ever seen a $80 million fighter plane parked somewhere you wouldn’t expect to see one?

The one that’s missing is large, dark, sort of stealthy, and comes complete with a slew of sophisticated weapons systems. Those characteristics, however, do not appear to contain a transponder or “black box.”

If you come across it, please contact 843-963-3600. Your government overlords will be extremely thankful for your assistance.

 



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