An Australian couple has revealed how “swinging” has made their relationship stronger than ever – as long as they always do it together.
It’s rare to find someone that would say they’d like to see their significant other in a compromising position with someone else. But for the couple, Jess and Jay say that they have never been happier about opening their relationship to other partners.
Speaking on KIIS FM’s Kyle and Jackie O Show, Sydney residents 30-year-old Jess, an owner of a sex club “Our Secret Spot”, and her partner, 46-year-old Jay explained that they started out with a closed or ‘monogamous’ relationship after meeting on Tinder two years ago.
DailyMail reports that at the time, Jess was with her ex-fiancé, Lawrence, who is still her business partner. As things developed between Jess and Jay, they decided to ‘close’ their relationship a little by excluding seeing other partners separately.
“I am quite open to things, so when she brought it up I thought it was worth a shot,” Jay explained on the segment. Their first group experience was with one of Jay’s friends and her partner, and Jay admitted that there were moments he felt awkward.
However, they use lots of communication to continually ensure the other is comfortable throughout the experience. If anything gets too much, they can break off and be just with one another at any point to re-center.
As Jess is bisexual and has a larger preference for women, they have decided to put certain boundaries around their openness. Particularly that they are only swinging when they’re together and that they usually will only invite other females to be with them.
These rules ensure that Jay doesn’t get jealous and they can both maintain satisfaction from their extracurricular unions.
Jess also spoke to the Daily Mail about their habits as a couple, saying she wouldn’t mind taking a break from swinging, but wouldn’t want it to be off the cards in their relationship.
“It has become such a beneficial change for me,” she explained. “It also is such an adaptable lifestyle that even if we choose to take some time off to focus on ourselves or building a family we could do so and have our relationship closed until we felt the urge to come back into the lifestyle.”
“Swinging has most definitely improved my relationships both with my friends and partner. It has allowed me to be honest with myself in what I require from a partner as well as what I need to be like as a person to be happy.”
More from AWM:
Jay enjoys their relationship because it keeps them honest. They are frequently checking in with each other about how things are feeling, and the line of communication is always open because they’re trying new things with new people together.
“We had a foursome with my best friend and her partner,” Jess said.
And while it doesn’t happen often, things can become uncomfortable. Fortunately, the couple has a strategy to de-escalate situations they don’t want quickly.
“You definitely have points where you feel awkward. I remember once I was pulled into a position I felt really uncomfortable in,” Jay said. “A position Jess and I do, and I just couldn’t get my head back.”
At this point, Jess’s intuition about her partner’s feelings allowed her to do the right thing.
“I looked over at him, and he was like a deer in the headlights,” she said. “I could sense his face change and realized he was having a freak-out moment. So I pulled him in, brought things back in, so it was just us.”
Jay doesn’t get jealous when Jess has sex with other people because he “just wants her to be happy.”
Nevertheless, the couple has boundaries. They only swing together, and they mostly swing with females.
“I am more attracted to women,” Jess said. “I am content with Jay as the man in my life.”
